Sunday, 25 January 2009

some reflections

It is proving interesting to be amongst so many other Buddhist groups here. All thinking their way is the best but all practising at the same site and following the same goal. The practise is in feeling judged as inferior because we don't wear robes and are not monastic, and for not having a 'Guru', its also in judging them for practising rites and rituals as ends in themselves. The Mahabodhi temple is like a big mandala in which everything is held, all the energy of craving and aversion as well as Bodhichitta and its all circumambulating this spot, The Bodhi tree and has the potential for transformation.
2 days ago we did Chod at the site and at the end an angry woman said, 'If you knew anything about chod you wouldn't be doing it at this time'. She was very abusive, right in front of the tree, we certainly did call up the demons, anyway this knocked our confidence and checked out with Lama Tsultrim Allione that it was ok to do Chod anytime and she said it was and also you can do special chod and dusk and dawn when the veil in between the worlds is at the thinnest.
We have been causing ourselves grief by being dissatisfied with the room we have which is dark, smelly, has mossies and is next to a bathroom in which people have this habit her of reaching to the depths of their being and making a heel of a racket bringing phlegm up and spitting it, this is the sound we Wake up to and go to sleep to. We wont add information about the slum and its dogs and children and outside noises at risk of sounding negative. Or the babbling brook of rubbish and sewage and goodness knows how many diseases. No, instead we have seen that by complaining and focusing on looking for a better places has made things worst, Yesterday we reached acceptance. We realised we had gone through the stages of 1. Denial, its not happening and will change any minute, 2. Bargaining, plotting ways to fix it, all with new faults though, 3. Anger, It shouldn't be this way and its not fair, 4. Depression/Despair, Resignation, it will just be bad and lastly 5. Acceptance, give in to what is, stop wasting energy in trying to fix it. This released energy and actually theres a lovely view on the roof top terrace, it feels safe, its near everything and we have some anonymity. We are promised a room upstairs in 5 or 6 days with a window!

1 comment:

  1. Wow, you two are in such a journey!love to you both, I found that beautiful to read how acceptance openend a window to something quite beautiful........and something lovely for me to read today too.Sounds a bit hard tho!I shall not complain tonight about the frantic windchimes that all my neighbors seem to have , up here on the hill, in big winds!(scissor-run anyone? ha ha ! Go well. xx